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Season:
Thu, Mar 13-May 15 • Post: May 22-May 29 • Commish:
Bryan C.
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THURSDAY, MAY 22, 2008 |
VOLUME
3, NUMBER 2 |
Nuffle
News
2008
Blood Bowl Premiership
22
may 2008
Eight regular season games. 2 playoff games.
And now, it's down to the final two.
The Premiership is tonight. And we smell a
rat. Or more like two teams filled with rats.
Wondering what will happen? Our artists have
put together a rendition that predicts tonight's
results.
WGA
Writers Strike vs. BB Statiscian Strike
21 apr 2008
What was worse? Missing out on new episodes
of the Ghost Whisperer? Or your Week 3-5 stats?
Well, fortunately for you, both strikes are
over.
This week, new episodes of your favorite show
return to your local boob tube and, yes, we
have new stats on for this season of Blood
Bowl.
After heavy negotiations, Commissioner Carroll
was able to wrangle updated league numbers
out of intern Alan. Various reports claim
copious amounts of confections as well as
unlimited pure soda syrup, the kind used for
fountain machines, were promised.
Phatboys
Can Be Phat
18 apr 2008
Last night in a Week 6 match-up, the perennial
underdogs, Macragge Phatboys, played the run-circles-around-you,
overpowering Cheating Rats All Stars.
It was a classic tale of David vs. Goliath.
1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team vs. the Iron
Curtain All-star Russian Team. Bambi vs. Godzilla.
Coach Sheridan, who led last year's championship
team was cruising along the 2008 season with
his new Skavens. The Phatboys seemed destined
to be another notch in his long storied career.
On kickoff, the ball scatters and lands right
into the hands of one of the Cheating Rats.
It was looking like a very, very long day
for the Phatboys.
The Skaven make a lightning dash to the other
side of the field, and hand off the ball to
their star gutter runner. But just as he was
about to get into the end-zone, he trips over
a divot, not once, but twice, and falls flat
on his face. The Phatboys gain possession
and quickly convert to a touchdown. (Phatboys
1, Cheating Rats 0)
Thank you Blood Bowl field.
Next drive, the Cheating Rats try to make
a pass, but the receiver can't get a grip
on the ball. The Phatboys quickly pick up
the ball and make a touchdown (Phatboys 2,
Cheating Rats 0).
Start of the second half. The only time in
the game that the Phatboys are on the receiving
end of a kickoff. The extremely skilled Skaven
kicks the ball masterfully into the air and
the pigskin lands perfectly in the end zone.
But a lucky bounce puts the ball out of bounds.
The Phatboys capitalize and midway through
the second half, they score another touchdown
(Phatboys 3, Cheating Rats 0)
The clock winds down with a scant amount of
plays left. The Cheating Rats are determined
to avoid the humiliation of a doughnut next
to their team. The Rats pick up the ball and
make a mad dash. At mid-field, the Skaven
passes a bullet to the receiver.
A sole Phatboy player stands between the thrower
and the receiver. That's player 6, otherwise
known as "Box Car." He already has
2 casualties for the game. He throws his hands
in the air and gets a piece of the ball. The
ball shoots straight up. Box Car lands back
on his feet as the ball comes tumbling down.
He makes a grab for the ball. It bobbles.
And miraculously, he catches the ball. Interception!
Interception! Interception!
Box Car runs up the field. Scans for eligible
receivers and throws to an open player. The
catcher hands off the ball to Lucky Vasquez,
who runs in for his second touchdown of the
game. (Phatboys 4, Cheating Rats 0)
Last play of the game. A vindictive Cheating
Rats Coach is sure to try to put the hurt
on the awe-struck Phatboys. Three Phatboys
reluctantly lineup at the line of scrimmage
to take their hits. The rest of the Phatboys
stay back from what is sure to be a bloody
mess.
The inflamed Coach Sheridan has one thing
on his mind. Revenge. What sort of mayhem
can his team try to inflict on the Phatboys?
But before all that, the Cheating Rats, decide
to try to make lemonade out of this lemon
of the game—they want to at least gain
some experience with a pass completion.
The Rats pick up the kick and try for a quick
pass. The Skaven receiver puts up his hands,
but the pigskin has a mind of it's own. And
instead of landing safely in the hands of
the Rats Receiver, the ball squirts out and
falls unceremoniously onto the pitch. And
so it goes, for the Cheating Rats. (FINAL.
Phatboys 4, Cheating Rats 0)
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| Week
6 |
F |
| Macragge
Phatboys « |
4 |
| Cheating
Rats |
0 |
| The
underdog Phatboys shocked the sports
world with an shut-out upset of the
Cheating Rats. |
Baltimore
Skaven
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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2008 |
VOLUME
3, NUMBER 1 |
Nuffle
News
Let's
Play Ball
26 mar 2008
Blood Bowl Fans - it's that time again. The
2008 Fighting Hellfish Blood Bowl Premier League
is upon us. 12 teams have signed up to battle
for the coveted Premier Cup.
Our venue went down the tubes along with the
2007 season, but when 2008 rolled around, the
intrepid Fighting Hellfish planning committee,
a plucky group of Nurglings, Necromancers, and
Underwear Models managed to find a new venue
to host the FHBBPL.
Announcements went out, and various necromancers
made a quick visit to the graves in Tall Hill
View to raise new teams - this year we're seeing
a return of the 2005 Briternia Kings, and 2
new living-challenged teams the Doomsayers and
Numas Bones.
As usual Orcs are making a big contribution
to the FHBBPL - The Orcland Raiders are attending
for their 3rd year, and rookie teams Raider
Nation and Head 'Eads will be on the pitch as
well.
Two perennial underdog teams, both here for
their 3rd attempt at the Premiership - The Human
Macragge Phatboys and the almost-human Neverland
Nightmares. Newcomer Skaven teams for this league
are the Cheating Rats Allstar Players and the
Baltimore Skavens.
Rounding out the roster is the return of the
Parchment Patriots, a Wood Elf team that almost
made it into the playoffs in 2005 just to be
shot down inches from that glorious event with
the untimely death of their Star Player Goldie
Faun by Heisenberg, the Claw wielding Chaos
Warrior of the Wormhole Surfers.
There's some controversy that the Patriots punch
was spiked before the match with grain alchohol,
but who ever heard of a Blood Bowl team not
being able to hold their booze?
SO - BloodBowl fans, strap on a helmet, lace
up that cup, hide that shiv in your sleeve,
and put in a healthy supply of Type O Positive
because the metal detectors are offline and
the scalpers don't want tickets, they want a
cape rimmed with your hair. It's time for another
no-holds barred season of mayhem, and that's
just what's happening in the Bloodweiser line.
Let's PLAY BALL!!!
2007:
A Year that Will Live in Infamy
26 mar 2008
It's been a longer than usual break between
seasons this year, the 2007 games having been
cancelled after the infamous Orcish Riots.
The Bad Moon Bears (previous) Head Coach started
it all when he sent out a call for extra players
after Star Players Colon Blow & Gizzard
Spike left the team to pursue their ill fated
actor/rock star careers on the FOX Cabal Network's
show Bloodbowl Idol.
Boss after boss sent scores of Boyz to the Premierie
League spring training camp to try out for the
open spots. Soon there were well over 200 Orc
Boyz vying for the positions and causing some
serious mayhem. Thrug seems to have sparked
off the riots by calling his usual Waaaaaghh
on the Brown Bombers training camp for dinner
and the Boyz took it a bit far that night as
a pitched battle started between the Orcs and
the Halflings.
Of course, the Orcs won - but the fires they
started spread into the camps of Sabado Gigantes
and the Defenders of the Swamp - calls for calm
were ignored, Orcs battled Orc and Elf - and
all the blood spilt must have have attracted
a wandering Khornate Warrior band.
We all know what happens when Khorne mixes with
Blood Bowl, and when the dust cleared 6 weeks
later there were over 400 dead rookie and veteran
Players in shallow graves, as well as a burning
crater where the Stadiums used to be. The citizens
of Tall Hill View banned the league and paved
over the old stadium site for a Castle Depot
expansion.
Season
3 is upon us
29 feb 2008
Off-season news
After a short hiatus due to a change of venue,
Blood Bowl is back. Back with a vengeance. Commissioner
Bryan C announced an 8-week season will start
on Thursday, March 13. You heard right. Thursday,
Thursday, Thursday.
What teams will return to the hallowed Fighting
Hellfish Blood Bowl pitch this year? Will the
Bad Moon Bears return to defend the title? Will
the Lustria Playmates, the first ever BBPL champs,
find their way back from the warp? And how about
the Phatboys? Will they ever play a full season
or win a game?
Who will take the title? Who will play the spoiler?
Old teams. New teams. Big teams and small. You’re
all welcome to join. Get your teams ready and
let’s play ball.
Fancy
new logo
22 feb 2008
Off-season news
The theme this season is red. As in things are
going to hurt. As in you'll be seeing red. As
in paint the town red.
You get the idea.
So get your wet nurses ready. Sit back. Relax.
And enjoy our fancy new logo.
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